*Deep breaths* Hey everyone. I wasn’t really going to post any testimonies until the last week of the month, let alone my own testimony to start off the pace! The plan was to post my personal testimony very quick and label it as “anonymous”; however, the Holy Spirit had other ideas. So in the past 12 hours I watched “My Eczema/My Testimony” from a woman named Blessing (she has agreed to feature, so I will post the video very soon), it is a testimony that has been floating around for a bit now, so some of you may already be familiar with it. Though it was my third time watching it…WOW, did it HIT me! Something Blessing was so ashamed of, for so many years, turned around into a testimony, after giving her life to Christ and knowing the Truth of whom she really is. It is because of her testimony that Blessing is literally beginning her own ministry.
After discussing with my Father, I realised that the reason why He gave me this idea of “The Testimony Blog” was to share my own testimonies (in particular this one).
The following day, I was speaking to my friend, displaying my excitement for the “Testimony Blog” and then said to her: “Nobody from the public has emailed me yet”. She said a lot of useful things…Mehn, let’s pause for a second…let me just emphasis on this point…never think you are too old to learn from someone younger than you…please don’t! Okay, rewind. My friend here said a lot of useful things, the one which sticks to mind was this statement: “The audience needs to get to know you”.
After talking to my Father once again…I realised ONE. I shouldn’t be ashamed of what He has done for me…OK…TWO….From the previous post, I did say that one of the purpose of testifying is to find common ground with those you want to evangelize to…CHAI! Then my friend’s words hit me again “Make sure it is God leading you, and you will see the fruit”. If I had it my own way, I wouldn’t be typing this with my name on it. I know it’s God! So I eventually concluded that showing off what God has done for me is what will bring fruits. Not my own efforts.
So let me tell you my testimony and watch God do the rest.
Have you ever heard of trichotillomania? Can I even pronounce it?
Since the age of 9, I developed a very strange habit of plucking hairs around the hairline, eyebrows and lashes. It was so bad that I had bald patches. I should thank God that it wasn’t consistent as my hair did grow back (thank God!). However it wasn’t long before it happened again. It seemed to happen in cycles. For what reason the habit arose –I do not know- maybe stress, but who gets stressed in year 3 of primary school? (My thoughts were confirmed as I researched further).
The situation continued into secondary school, college and university. The hairline improved…but my eyebrows were the BIG problem. Being in secondary school made the issue a whole lot worse. It was a situation I had to deal with by myself because I never spoke to anybody about it. If I had a bald patch on my eyebrows I would somehow find a black ink pen to fill it in. LOL…terrible times. Did people notice? Yes! But I was really good at brushing such topic off. However, at times I would find myself segregated from the crowd, especially when the sun was out. This sun reveals all I tell you.
From college, I had very scanty eyelashes, almost nothing was there. Self-confidence was a problem, the way I saw myself was a problem but not to the point where I would categorise myself as ugly but I also didn’t feel pretty either. I hated summer for years. I wasn’t happy within myself that I associated myself with makeup either, even though it was just the basic eye makeup. I got too dependent on it. Makeup metaphorically then to me was a drug.
In university, where the plucking cycles were much closer together, I would use eyebrow pencil as usual but when exposed to anti-cancer agents during experiments, it’s like the eyebrow pencil ON MY EYEBROW liquidised and evaporated. It was serious. I had to have eyebrow pencil with me all the time.
I research these embarrassing symptoms and realized it was very similar to trichotillomania. When I checked the definition of the condition and saw the term “psychological….”…at that moment I rejected it and closed the internet window. I knew the God I served, so I wasn’t planning on labelling myself with such nonsense.
Though, I never said a word to anyone, Jesus protected me through the years as I did not to get bullied, I never once was abused for it. I learnt to cover it up well, the embarrassment, the guilt, the shame and the patches. …oh yeah I avoided, almost hated looking into people’s eyes.
This was a situation I would bring to the prayer table was when I was concerned for the future. I would ask for everything to be restored before the day of my wedding so that on the aisle, I would be able to look at that man’s eyes.
The turnaround point was when I started to spend MORE time with the Word, took part in hosting Bible Study, read “Look Good, Feel Great by Joyce Meyer” (slowed paced book but worth it) and started praying fervently for my desires. I also included fasting into the equation. My prayer points were based on the future rather than the present.
During this time, I made a new friend. It didn’t take her long to notice that I had no eyelashes. To my embarrassment I said it was one of my hay fever symptom(s).
However, for the first time my answer to her question didn’t settle with me, so I told her the truth.
She replied “Oh okay, I appreciate your honesty”. She spoke nothing of it after that.
Whilst I was spending more time with God, things changed, gym happened, healthy eating, circle of friends were changing, favour at my workplace…my confidence build up, creativity switch turned on. A lot of things were looking up
Then one day whilst talking to this same friend, she blurted out “Your eyelashes are back”, it was same day that morning I noticed it myself. She continued saying “I had to do some prayers for you on that topic you know”. At this point in time my eyebrows were bushed out and hairline intact.
Now I don’t know how deep or intense her prayer was in regards to my situation, but if it wasn’t for that intercessory prayer involved and the strength the Lord gave me to draw closer to Him – I might have been moaning for the Sun to go away today.
So there we have it, the first testimony of the blog. I actually thank God for giving me the courage to write this and I do pray that this testimony will bless someone.
I look forward to sharing more of what God is doing in my life.